[x]

SorryI’m so sorry the sun rises and sets,
The silver moon shimmers at night,
I’m sorry I know your smile is sweet,
Sweet as love and the pain the heart feels.
I’m sorry your body be blazed with beauty,
How content one can be? Just a glimpse dear one,
I noticed a gold light in your spirit,
And a need for warmth in your heart,
I know you’re a Goddess,
One who’s attributing is stealing my heart,
But don’t worry I speak nothing of this,
Only if you let me glare into your eyes;
What more do I beg for?
I’m sorry voices say you’re beautiful at night,
And I dare say you’re beautiful at day

It's Funny How You Bleed.Funny how you
Don't even realize
You're addicted
Until you really
Need it.

Funny how the
Blood running
Down your arm
is soothing.

Funny you
Can take the
         pain.
Can do it to
         yourself.
Can hide it
       from
         yourself.

Pain is the only
Release from the urge
The urge to see
Your own blood
       Dripping
         Leaking
    &

Little StarYou think you're the star,
Flying way up high.
Nothing can touch you.
You own the sky.

Your colors are bright,
no one shines brighter.
You're number one....
till you go a bit higher.

Farther in the sky,
there are stars that shine true,
and you cannot compare.
You're just little old you.

Those stars are huge.
You'll never compare.
Don't even try.
Don't even dare.

You're small and weak.
They're big and strong.
Your shine is meek,
and theirs is long.

So just give up.
There's nothing to do.
You're not good enough,
yes, it's true.

Wait, no.
It's not true at all.
Those stars may be big,
but keep standing tall.

You're a star too,
no matter th

Screamed NoYou said no,
but he said yes.

How were you to know
what would happen next?

How could you know
that he'd push you down?

How could you know
you'd hit the ground?

How could you know
he'd rip off your shirt?

Tossed it away,
covered in dirt.

You didn't know
he'd have you pinned.

Because how could you know
that this would happen?

That your shirt would come off,
jeans un-zip.

That your heart would falter
with the rhythm of his hips.

That you would scream no,
as he groaned yes.

I Have Never Really Known YouI see you're hurting.
I try to help.
I can't reach you.
Can anyone else?
The one who loves you,
Does he hear your plea?
If anyone does,
It's not me.
I know you are strong,
But it's okay to be weak.
It's okay to fall down;
It's okay to be meek.
Before you fall,
In that briar patch,
You should know,
I have your back.
We laugh,
Together.
We cry,
Together.
Soul Best Friends For Like,
Fucking Ever.
Our time together,
Will never pass.
Jump off a bridge,
I'll get on my boat,
And save your ass.

TriggerIt hurts me to see your pains.
I read your words, gaze upon
your photos, drawings and
paintings.

I see the relief some find in
drawing the red with the silver.
I know the feeling all too well.

The quick draw of physical pain
to overpower in pain deep within.
The sight of red can be thrilling.
Freeing it, freeing the pain.
Letting it trickle on the skin.
Pain, left to drip to the ground.

Freedom from pain is a sweet thing.
The rush it brings, almost orgasmic.
Brain rushing to bring the pain relief
it often does. Body calms and loosens.

I miss that feeling, I do. I miss the
ritual of it. I miss the secret of it.
Hidden under

Do You?Every scar tells a story...

A cross for the time I doubted God,
Four down the middle,
Because three was odd.
One for the insults,
And how my heart breaks.
Seven for the time he was ripped away.
Eight for the time you left me alone,
Six for the time,
I lost my home.

My scars talk.
And you listen.
But you don't hear.
You don't hear,
My doubts and fears.
My insecurities and confusion,
They do not exist in your illusion.
I have been ripped away from what I need.
And what I need,
Is to grieve,
And bleed.

My scars tell a story.
I have a reason for what I do.
My scars tell a story.
But you don't hear,
Do you?

Coming Apart at the SeamsAgain my arms have paid the price,
For the pathetic thing,
I call my life.
Cuts up and down,
Decorating my arm,
Keeping me safe,
From emotional harm.
Guarding my soul,
All through the night.
Showing that there is darkness,
Even in light.
So no matter how much I try,
To just go past,
The scars on my arms will always last.
They'll line up,
With the ones in my heart,
Until the day,
I finally fall apart.

Not Good EnoughNot good enough for me,
not good enough for you,
maybe all the insults
are simply what's true.

What can I say?
Nothing, I'm done,
so sick and tired
of having to run.

So this is the end,
the last puzzle piece,
the very last straw,
the pain will soon cease.

I won't have to struggle.
There will be no pain,
and everyone's lives
will go on quite the same.

Because I am just me.
The greatest disappointment of all.
So say good-bye,
as I start my free fall.

My Soul to KeepHeart beats fast,
fingers tapping,
nerves are stretching,
so close to snapping.

Try to calm down.
Take a deep breath,
feel so weak,
so close to death.

Nervously shaking,
and the clock's ticking slow.
When will it be over?
When's my time to go?

Can't wait,
about to break.
God, I'm here,
my soul to take.

Take it now.
I'm really done,
tired of fighting,
don't want to run.

I just want to rest,
just want to sleep,
take me forever,
my soul to keep.

CuttingI want my razor
I want the joy of feeling metal on skin
The ecstasy as it splits open my skin
A deep groove left on my wrist
The excited rush as blood wells up
Red beads floating out
The bittersweet metallic taste on my tongue
Morbid fantasies that flash through my mind
The sight of my crude tattoos
The poetic art of my razorblade
No one understands
No one comprehends my passion
They fear because they misinterpret
How can someone find pleasure
Immersed in all that pain
My pleasure, My escape
My only getaway.
I am a cutter.

CuttingYou asked me to stop cutting.
Don’t you understand?
Talking doesn’t help.
Yeah, I show up to school with cuts and scars.
But you must, you have to, understand why,
I do what I do.

It’s not some fad.
I’m not looking for attention.
I’m not doing it because everyone else is.
Nor am I doing it because I think it’s cool.
I do it because I don’t know how.
How to stop the pain...

Cutting DaysDo you remember those days?
I sure do.
The days where I'd wear long sleeves or armbands no matter what the weather.
cover the scars with tons of make-up
Make up stories about the cuts on my arms or legs
"The cat did it"
"I got it shaving"
"I fell in the woods"
Stupid excuses like that.

I remember the days
when people would whisper when I walk in the room.
The days when people called me a freak
or a emo
or a attention whore
or a psycho
just because I cut myself.

I remember the days
That I'd hide my razors
clean the blood off the floor
wash my bedsheets late and night so no one saw.

I remember the days
when I couldn't sleep

Please Save meI think im going to try,
I know i might finally die,
Tonight im going to cut,
Ill cut so deep,
Pain on my arm weak,
Compaired to the pain in my chest,
Maybe i will cut out my heart,
Like what ive done to you,
IM worthless,
Im cruel,
I cant believe i did this to you,
I hope everything you said,
All the words of hate,
I hope they come true,
I deserve to suffer like you have,
I dont deserve this life.

ScarletIll write these words in scarlet,
The ink will be beautiful,
Its slowly bleeding through,
My pens gone dull,

Read my words,
A whisper in the dark,
Read my pain like poetry,
Everything felt inside me,
Revised into words,
Yet they barely describe,
Everything in my heart

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Growing OldIs a symptom of growing older,
One that makes a person look at a kid
And be able to say
"That was me?"
Does the symptom of growing older
Include the urge to reach out to the kid
And guide them,
To tell them,
"Don't step there,
Or you'll stumble.
Don't stop here
Or you'll stay."
Is it supposed to cause such a ripple inside
When that kid stares blankly back at you,
Not knowing the strife,
The irreversible transformation,
They are heading towards?
What can you do,
When you see yourself staring back at you with innocent eyes
And empty ears?
Only it isn't you.
It's every mistake and wound you survived
In a kid who doesn't k

Gay, why yes I am-3Happy times

Are ephemeral.

Remembering the dinners-

We laughed

And

The moments-

They loved.

It was worth

It,

Having to be their

Boy.

Though it couldn't last.

Inside of me

She was angry.

Repressed,

Because she wanted to be

Loved too.

Gay, why yes I am-2 Parents

They are the people who rule my life.

Dad with his

"Son, you needa man up"

Diatribes.

Mom with her

"Thomas, you needa give up"

Glances.

Oh, they know.

I know they know.

But I can only guess

What they'd do

If

The truth were slammed down their

Self righteous scowls.

What if I shouted?

"HEY GUYS I'M INTO GUYS!"

What if I screamed?

"HEY GUYS, NOT ONLY THAT,
BUT I TOTALLY WANT TO BE A GIRL TOO!"

Think they'd pat my back

And offer to pay the medical bills?

Think they'd say,

"WELL, WE WANTED A GIRL ANYWAYS!"

And everything would work out

All inspirational-movie like?

That'd be great.

Too bad the odds of that happ

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Submitted: November 14, 2010
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[x]

Cutting

by ~anotherinsaneperson, Nov 14, 2010, 4:04:00 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

In class I sit with my notebook open
But I can't help but hear the kids next to me
They're so sad their clothes are crying
I frown as I remember a time when I was-
When I had so much self pity.

The kids next to me moan as they complain,
"No one gets me-noone cares-life is meaningless"
It's a circle that they go in
And I don't have to ask why they feel this way.

Their mom ignores them
Or maybe their Dad left them.
They were the one's the other kids picked on
And all they ever wanted was to feel needed.

I know all of this because that was me.
That was me and that will always be me.

The kids pull up their sleeves and compare battle wounds
"Dude, you did that last night? Wow, it's deep."
I want to scream at them. I want to yell

How can someone cut themselves for attention?!
How could they show it off like it was some sort of fashion statement?
Did they know how much I hate the scars
The scars that riddle my thighs,
The scar that will never leave my forearm?

They didn't know.
I roll my eyes as I take a glance at the kid's cut
It is deep,
But I had seen much worse
I had seen a little girl with cuts like tattoos
All over her arms, all over her legs
And you know why she cut?
She cut because she was a prostitute,
She cut because her mom was dead and her daddy raped her
And God knows,
How she tried to hide those cuts.

These kids catch me staring once in a while,
And they sneer
"What, loser, you think we're emo or something?"
I shake my head and look away from them,
"I think you're pathetic."

They take this in
And pull their sleeves down.
Sometimes they look as if they've seen relation in my eyes
Other times they don't get it at all.

Cuttingby ~anotherinsaneperson

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Just random thoughts on the subject of cutting, etc.

~~mad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

*emmabanana1 Apr 13, 2013 New member Hobbyist General Artist

those people who cut themselves are dumb, Just exercise! It release stress hormones.

~Freak-With-Issues Mar 3, 2013 Student General Artist

I have an identical opinion as you on this issue and I like the piece of writing.

~InsaneArtist66 Feb 20, 2013

This brought meaningful tears to my eyes.

!KingSparrowPhoto Feb 16, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

I have within the last couple days moved to the thighs, but honestly I prefer the arm, and if I didn't have to cover it up I wouldn't but it's not for attention, it's it's because I am not ashamed, I have found the one way to, for a while, relieve the pain, and to keep me alive one more day. However, given that I have to work, and I have to hide it I do (because as I said it's not for attention but honestly the thighs also aren't as satisfying as my arm, it still tingles on the old scars as if asking for more).
Wonderfully said! When it's about the attention or the fashion statement it really is insulting.

~TheSkyShines Dec 16, 2012 Student Traditional Artist

Honestly, i dont go cutting for attention i do it because life hurts and it helps me its not like im shoving my scars down peoples throats. But im glad that you let your feelings out this way good job!

!HetaliaHetaonigirl Nov 23, 2012

I dont cut for attention. I cut to get rid of the pain.

~babesis1 Apr 27, 2012

dude, the 'cool kidz' at my school....do shit like that and im like "bitch please! we get it you want attention!" I swear on my grave my school is filled with attention whores!

~laritda Jan 6, 2013 Student Writer

Easy for you to say they are "attention whores" when you don't have a clue about what they are going through. So don't judge if you've never been there, cause it hurts. Just saying....

~babesis1 Jan 6, 2013

Their are these 2 boys at my school. Their all 'popular and stuff. they cut their arms ans come to school and compare the deepness.

~laritda Jan 6, 2013 Student Writer

Well if they do it to be cool than that's their problem. There are a lot of people that cut to release internal pain. So don't judge. Also, cutting doesn't make anyon popular.

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